That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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