she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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