Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize