Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
