I'm lost and stupid without you.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
