plz talk dirty to me
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
