I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Someone came in the potted fern
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
