Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
