he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
