sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize