just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
