College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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