New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
