we're blogging at a bar
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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