I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
