Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize