using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
