she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
