Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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