Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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