did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She's the barista slut.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
