oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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