I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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