K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
