So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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