what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
