if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
