i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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