Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
