Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
