This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
