so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
