just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
