After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
