woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
