he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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