I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
what day is it and did you see me today?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
