Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
