So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
