i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
