I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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