so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
