I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize