"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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