At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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