then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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