fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
