I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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