Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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