I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
