Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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