covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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