pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
