Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
