There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
