Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
