i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
